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Joke of the Day

"[roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more"

"Five years ago I asked the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"A nurse reached into her pocket looking for her pen and found a rectal thermometer instead. She turned to her colleague and said ""some asshole has got my pen""."

"Marrige has 3 rings... The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

"Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live."

"cindy and president cindy to his friend"" me and the president of the country are equal"" ""how?""his friend asked ""look i dont go his home and he dont come my home"" cindy replied"

"What is someone doing when they are disposing of diseased radishes? Dropping some ill beets."

"What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall..."

"Have you heard the joke about the three rats? It was cheesy"

"""Can I help you find something?"" I'm looking for the perfect diamond for my wife that says ""sorry I cheated on you in your dream last nite"""