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Joke of the Day

"What does a priest get when he wants some pussy? Nun."

"What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common? Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess"

"So I ordered a pizza I ordered a funghi pizza yesterday but I was pretty disappointed.. They obviously have mushroom for improvement"

"Make fun of my footy pajamas if you must, but all you naked sleepers are gonna be up shit creek if your house catches on fire in the night."

"Why should you never trust soap? It's an emulsive lyer."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you saw me eating that cupcake with no hands and you want my autograph?"

"Only and only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize there are some problems that can be solved without violence :)"

"Hey, Facebook. Dead people can't read your RIP shoutouts, because death."

"*sees a shark in a homemade clam costume* That's a pretty dubious clam"

"Maybe I'm the good kind of fat like an avocado."