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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle."

"No sweetie, mommy's not drinking vodka again. This is potato water."

"Knockknock, who's there? It's Harry. Thankyou, Knockknock"

"You and I are like ass cheeks... we're still together after all the shit that's gone between us."

"Roses are red... This one is screwed up, you've been warned. /our flag is too /raise your hand to the sky /and gas all the jews"

"God bless USA And Science. And Muhammad And The Buddhist Gods. everyone is offended these days."

"I'm not surprised the Seahawks chose to pass... Lynch was only there so he wouldn't get fined."

"What has a bottom on a top? A leg."

"Why did the Police hurry over to the Black Lives Matter Riot? To beat the crowd!"

"I've heard addicts claim that heroin became their ""God"" but... ...they're always taking his name in vein."