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Joke of the Day

"No sweetie, mommy's not drinking vodka again. This is potato water."

"2 birds talking to each other I think I need to take a shit. What are you waiting for? A car."

"Secret: Something which is told to one person at a time."

"A guy drove his expensive car into a tree... That's when he learned how the Mercedes bends"

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your car doesn't make you invisible, but I am super impressed by how far you just got your finger up your nose."

"My wife is an angel. All my friends are jealous because their wives are still alive."

"i know i'm getting old because i'm grumpy, i sleep early, and the devil appears with an empty hourglass whenever i shut my medicine cabinet"

"Why are gay guys good helpers when moving? They know how to pack your shit."

"Why is it called an Xbox One? Because you do a one and walk away."

"What do O'douls and going down on your sister have in common? (NSFW) It tastes the same but it's just not quite right."