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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between r/showerthoughts and Jaden Smith's twitter? Capitalization."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend is like an Australian Olympian She always comes second."
"what if soy milk is just regular milk.... introducing itself in spanish"
"*co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit ""close door"" button* *I miss, hit ""open door""* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course"
"Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector and fire is real."
"My friend just found out that he is both gay and dyslexic. He is still in Daniel."
"Too bad Anne Frank never saw Home Alone. Could have been a serious game changer in my opinion."
"A person wearing a 'Snitches Get Stitches Shirt' I walked up to him and asked him where he got it. He said, ""At the local mall"" I beat his ass up."
"A man got hit in the head with a drink... It's okay, though; it was a soft drink."
"I masterbate because I'm the only one with standards low enough to fuck me. - Bo Burnham"