99960
Joke of the Day
"A man got hit in the head with a drink... It's okay, though; it was a soft drink."
Next Joke
"Why did the vegan zombie visit the coma ward? Because it only ate vegetables."
"Live today like it's your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."
"I went to a restaurant with my wife last night and ordered the Hippo soup. I'm still not sure what I'm going to order for myself."
"What's the hardest part about eating vegetables? The Wheelchair."
"A buddy of mine quit his job at the paper mill, He said the conditions were tearable."
"WIFE [in labour] GOD MAKE IT STOP MIDWIFE: The baby's WIFE: NO, THE NOISE ME [stops playing pan pipes] Is the nurse being too loud, love?"
"What does the high elves call Gandalf? Methrandir"
"""Hey, my face is UP HERE and also OVER HERE"" - woman in Picasso painting"
"Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge."