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Joke of the Day
"Green smoothies because who has the time or energy to chew 17 cups of spinach/lettuce/kale"
Next Joke
"What did JFK say after banging Marilyn Monroe? ""Some men have greatness thrust upon them, some men thrust upon greatness."""
"Everyone knows that lighting our farts is great, but when are we gonna be able to vape our farts?"
"When I die I want my Group project members to lower me into my grave. So they can let me down one last time."
"Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past? It had a SPOILER on it."
"[all the dairy products r hanging out] Milk: lets go drink Cheese: yea Yogurt: yea Whipped cream: my gf says i cant. its scrapbooking night"
"To do list:nn1) Kill the fly in my room. nn2) Try to snort multivitamins.nn3) Practice Hadouken in mirror.nn4) Kill the fly's loved ones."
"I love how binge watching a tv show is now portrayed as a fun activity instead of an expression of deep emotional turmoil and depression"
"I just want a girl that's nice and sweet that doesn't require a lot of money and I can dunk them in milk wait, a cookie, I want a cookie"
"What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano? Baklava. (It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)"