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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"Went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal .... didn't work ... still grumpy."

"Why couldn't the pig run? He pulled his hamstring!"

"Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth."

"What is Jabba the Hut's middle name? the"

"Why does Piglet smell so bad? Because he always plays with Pooh."

"What do you call someone whose GPA is greater than the number of inches their dick is? Asian"

"It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce, he's a rocket man."

"Why are blacksmiths seen as very nosy? Because the are always metal-ing."

"The more time you spend with your lover, the more you become like them. That explains why I'm so childish."