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Joke of the Day

"My wife says we should spice up our sex life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray. First, she wants me to become a billionaire."

"What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed? Han So-high."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the worst time to have a heart attack would be during a game of charades."

"Advertisers: you can stop using ""it will change your life"" as a selling point. Cocaine, unemployment, and AIDS will also change your life."

"Hangman is a weird game to let kids play. Hey kid, if you don't think of this word, a random man will be put to death."

"I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: ""You always run faster with a knife""."

"A stupid joke that my mum tells me a lot So there are two cows eating grass in a paddock. One cow looks up and says ""moo"". The other cow says ""hey, I was gonna say that!"""

"How do you know if somebody is a vegan? They'll fucking tell you."

"Half Life 3 was going to be released several years ago... ...But the voice actor for Gordon Freeman was supposed to announce it, and no-one can find him."

"I would tell you a leech joke. . . But it would suck anyway"