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Joke of the Day

"A stupid joke that my mum tells me a lot So there are two cows eating grass in a paddock. One cow looks up and says ""moo"". The other cow says ""hey, I was gonna say that!"""

"Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills...."

"What did the college student say to a banker? I am forever in your debt."

"What's long and black? The unemployment line."

"If Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Justin Bieber were in an elevator with me and I only had two bullets, I would... ..wonder why I didn't bring a fucking gun!"

"Not a joke, sorry, but I'm new to this subreddit... Does this subreddit actually have 36 million ""humorists"" or is that a joke? If so, I don't get it."

"I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours."

"Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!"

"Trick people into thinking you're a doctor by turning off taps with your elbows"

"I've been told that red wine compliments a steak. But so far my glass hasn't said anything nice at all."