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Joke of the Day

"So if you never eat meat or dairy you must never throw up, because what happens in Vegans--ow stop hitting me."

"How do you make the letter ""H"" healthy? You spin it. It becomes spin-h. juh-jen"

"What's black and married to my daughter? Nothing because I'm a good parent."

"Yuck: I do not recommend Volkswagen's new Meat Lover's Jetta."

"Tim Cook has announced that he's gay. Samsung just filed a lawsuit claiming they came out of the closet 3 years ago. #Apple"

"I just want free gold. But what would i use it for teehee"

"How do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby."

"My penis was in a Guinness Book Of Records... ...but then they threw me out of the library."

"Q: Knock knock. A: Who's there? Q: Control freak. Okay, now, you say, ""Control freak who?"""

"Why is Dave Mustaine described as ""heavy metal""? Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)"