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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops vanilla, 1 scoop dead baby."

"""I'm going to be famous one day"" -Unknown"

"I tried to jerk off with toothpaste last night... it hurt so I had to quit, but I can perform auto-fellatio, so at least I have fresh breath."

"I regret falling in love with my British girlfriend. You give your heart to her and she Brexit into a million parts."

"How to stop, drop and roll if you are drunk. If you're drunk, it's not called the stop, drop and roll. It's called the stop, drop and stop rolling around so your drunk friend can piss on you."

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at them."

"How do you pump a Republican for information? With a plunger."

"Why was Santa upset he got a sweater for Christmas? Because he wanted a screamer of a moaner."

"What is Eren's (AoT) favorite song? Moves Like Jaeger"

"I wrote a Ricky Martin joke, but it was gay."