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Joke of the Day
"just got my deaf friend drunk and he's slurring fingers so bad right now"
Next Joke
"Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there 20 minutes late."
"[my son threatens to run away after I take away his iPad] ""Here $60. It's all I have. Call if you need more."""
"Me and snoop dog worked together. It was a joint project"
"Parkour is truly the sport that best represents what it would look like if god was running from the cops"
"[goes to museum of fine art] ""Just how fine can this art be, anyway"" [sees a vase in a thong] ""oh damn"""
"Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink"
"Where do Muslims go on a weekend? To Mecca Bingo."
"Why did they put Harriet Tubman on the twenty dollar bill and not Barack Obama? Because if that were the case, you'd never get change."
"What do you call a horny homosexual? Homorectus. Sorry"