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Joke of the Day

"Parkour is truly the sport that best represents what it would look like if god was running from the cops"

"Why does George Bush not know how to read? Because he was a stupid twat who should have never become president."

"Yesterday i accidentally cut off the left side of my body! Im all right now."

"What was the old lady's favourite type of wine? ""Why don't you ever take me to Florida?"" Courtesy of my Nana."

"A wife comes home and says, ""Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"" The guy says, ""Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"" She says, ""I don't care, get out!"""

"Why do people eat carrots to help their eyesight? They should be eating oranges because they have vitamin C. haha"

"Where do bad pigs go? They get sent to the pen."

"Just ordered a chicken and and an egg off ebay... Will let you know the results soon."

"A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before."

"Hi! Welcome to my makeup tutorial SO, the first step is to be a beautiful 20 year old with lots of money"