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Joke of the Day

"[goes to museum of fine art] ""Just how fine can this art be, anyway"" [sees a vase in a thong] ""oh damn"""

"There once was a man named Dave... who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit, and missing one tit, but think of the money he'd save."

"Me and Julio At Least 500 Feet Away From the Schoolyard"

"What did the Dog say to the Chipmunk? Woof."

"The bible is 100% accurate when thrown from close range."

"Did you hear the one about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a woman? Idk I'm voting trump"

"What do you call a hard working midget? A little elbow grease ^just ^thought ^of ^this ^one"

"I was an atheist Until I found out I was a sex god."

"Michelle Obama & Melania Trump meeting: *shaking hands* Michelle: Hi, I'm Michelle. Melania: Hi, I'm Michelle."