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Joke of the Day
"A scottish man walks out of a bar..."
Next Joke
"I saw an infant in the intensive care unit at the hospital... ... quietly playing with a toy donkey. I couldn't help but think: ""ICU baby, shakin' that ass"""
"Whenever someone says to me ""Please make yourself at home"" I remove all my clothes and start masturbating"
"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says... ""Does this guy taste funny to you?"""
"If you feel like procrastinating... ...Just do it tomorrow instead."
"My garbage disposal can't even handle this banana and now I'm wondering if I actually have a garbage disposal."
"Me: But I'm sweaty, I'm anxious, my heart rate is up Doctor: This is the 3rd visit I've had to tell you I can't treat being offended online"
"Wes Craven died? Well that sucks, I sure wes craven another scary movie..."
"Don't take a shower when you're drunk. The curtain does not support you when you fall. Trust me."
"Me: *nervous giggle* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or what? Drive-thru attendant: Please just take your food, sir."