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Joke of the Day

"yes lassie? ""bark"" Timmy's in the well and you pissed in my slippers and you told me about Timmy first so I wouldn't get mad ""bark"" smart"

"nothing saves money like being antisocial"

"Why do Jews have a big nose? Because air is free"

"What do you call man without toes? What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk? Lack-toes intolerant!!"

"Assert your dominance by crossing out your coworkers name on their food and put your own. Then eat it in front of them."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R! Aaaarrrgghhhh! You'd think it'd be R but it's the C, matey!"

"A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up. The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin."

"What do you call a George Clooney sex party? A Georgy. ( )"

"I will never be okay with how Michael is spelled."

"In the Chinese version of ""Fight Club"" the main character thought he had befriended a crazy anarchist. Turns out he was Wong the whole time."