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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York City Zoo."

"What's grandma's favorite seasoning? Old Bae"

"Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times. Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep."

"I wish people who take selfies or make amateur porn would clean up their room first."

"Why was Twelve running from Seven? Because Seven had a fucking rocket launcher!"

"The Man-whisperer. My dog at 6am."

"Some people are like slinkies Not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs"

"Hair pulling during sex is hot unless the whole wig comes off."

"Every meal I didn't have to cook myself is the best meal I've ever had."

"Bears think if you're lying down motionless, you're dead. So everyday, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic.."