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Joke of the Day

"The Man-whisperer. My dog at 6am."

"""Hey girl... You a pokemon trainer?"" Because you make my wiggly tuff"

"ITT: Your best (or worst) puns. See all those crows flying over that woman with that loaf of bread? She's going to get murdered."

"gonna name my first born Horse_ebooks"

"I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20."

"Ever blow bubbles as a kid? He's back in town and wants you to give him a call."

"I need to get off my high horse. He's certainly in no condition to take me anywhere right now. Get yourself together, junkie."

"Republicans are like presidential butt plugs. Their sole purpose is to block Obama's shit."

"""Don't kill it!"" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it."

"The German chancellor is traveling to greece She arrives at immigration and the immigration officer says ""nationality?"" The chancelor says ""German"" Officer: occupation? Chancelor: no not this time."