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Joke of the Day

"I'm starting to feel bullied by all the anti-bullying commercials."

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too."

"Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman."

"how did hitler tie his shoesies? with little nazis"

"How ugly was she? Paper or plasic?"

"How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild? They both give you tightness in the pants. I'll see myself out..."

"""When I think of you, there are some capital gains in my pants."" - sexy accountant pickup lines"

"I was a fantastic parent right up until I had kids of my own."

"Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those fuckers live forever."

"I did really well in my math class My professor said I was on the top of the bell curve."