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Joke of the Day

"[therapy] ME: *in tears* So anyway, that's why I think she left me PERSON ON ELEVATOR: Please, I have a family"

"Dark jokes are my favorite What the first thing you need to hide when the police is on the door and there's a pile of dead babies next to you? ... ... ... ... Your boner"

"Girls are like an internet virus... ...they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile..."

"I own an innovative gardening supplies store. We sell cutting-hedge technology."

"Blind jokes? didn't see that coming.."

"10,000 years from now people will probably be incredibly confused why they keep digging up dog shits perfectly preserved in plastic bags."

"What do you call a balloon animal made out of a condom? A Trojan horse."

"Anyone have a lot of unused pregnancy tests? Hate to see all this pee go to waste."

"Dating is like a 2-day-old box of chocolates. The good ones are already taken."

"Be alert! The world needs more lerts."