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Joke of the Day

"""how was self-deprecating rap battle?"" I don't want to talk about it ""come on what happened?"" they saw my porsche ""oh ouch"""

"Kadala of Diablo 3"

"Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball? A double!"

"What's the difference between your mom and my mom? Your mom still sucks my dad's dick"

"My wife told me I had to choose My wife walked in and told me I had to choose. Her or reddit.... I'm sure going to miss her."

"How did Jared lose 40lbs? He dumped his girlfriend."

"We are in the golden age of watching videos on your phone."

"I was going to yell ""Surprise!"" but missed the opportunity, now I'm stuck standing behind a curtain wondering when this becomes stalking."

"So I was about to roll a joint with a page from the Qur'an... But I decided that I didn't really feel like getting stoned."

"My grandpa always said... They were so poor, if he wasn't born a boy during the Depression, he would of had nothing to play with."