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Joke of the Day

"""how was self-deprecating rap battle?"" I don't want to talk about it ""come on what happened?"" they saw my porsche ""oh ouch"""

"Last night I was driving down an old country road when I hit a pedestrian going 50 mph. It seemed to take forever for help to arrive. That's the last time I use that towing company."

"Why do mules not work as hard as horses? Because they're half-assed!"

"Three men walk into a bar, what's missing? The joke! Usually one would introduce this one with: ""I'm gonna tell you a joke"" - but since we are in /r/jokes here, the setup should be ok."

"What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A miner."

"I was at Redbox, but I didn't know what to watch. I consulted my groceries, and my pizza said, ""Keep Frozen."""

"I went to the zoo the other day.. I went to the zoo the other day, but there was only one animal... It was a Shit-zoo"

"Why couldn't the melons secretly get married? Because they were cant elopes"

"How do you know your S&M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number."

"Why are camouflage jokes always great? Because you never see them coming."