152081

Joke of the Day

"I was at Redbox, but I didn't know what to watch. I consulted my groceries, and my pizza said, ""Keep Frozen."""

"I've always been bad at studying for tests.. ...but recently I noticed I work a lot harder while listening to the 50 shades of Grey soundtrack"

"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."

"What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks."

"Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."

"I only drink on special occasions... Luckily for me, I just broke my record for consecutive days alive today"

"What is a rock's favorite band? The Rolling Stones."

"How many /r/The_Donald moderators does it take to change a lightbulb You have been banned from /r/The_Donald for this submission..."

"What dairy product is the most revered? Swiss cheese, after all it's the holeist!"

"The only reason kids like Christmas is because they're not the ones buying all the presents."