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Joke of the Day

"Why is the all-seeing eye the symbol of the occult? Because they want us all under super-vision!"

"Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result... It's titled: Never Gonna Give EU Up"

"Where did Chappelle store all his Rick James outfits? Unit E"

"I don't like telling fat jokes They weigh too much on my conscience"

"I asked a guy if he could hold my joke for me. guy ""Jokes aren't a thing, you can't hold them!"" me ""Wow, just can't take a joke can you."""

"Lost my watch at a party... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl. ^not ^^on ^^^my ^^^^watch."

"Someone just told me ""if you don't believe in Santa Claus, he'll never visit!"" So on that note, I no longer believe in cancer."

"A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time."

"OMG THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE THE THOUGHT OF WINNING AFTER A NOMINATION IS A PHENOMENA THAT BLOWS MY MIND HOW DID IT HAPPEN - All Emmy winners"

"I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with a baseball bat."