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Joke of the Day

"A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time."

"My daughter doesn't understand why I'm wearing sunglasses in the house this morning. Filled her sippy with rum so we're on the same page."

"I remember the last thing my granpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. he said, ""hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Love means never having to say youaTMre Canadian."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. Baa-dum-tssss."

"Q: Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: ""Don't Walk."""

"How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a cab?"

"cop: the perp was found with red paint on his fingers, so i guess you could say he was caught.. *looks at camera* why is there a camera here"

"What did the chemist say when his girlfriend cheated on him? Dy Ho"

"If A Book Store Never Runs Out Of A Certain Book, Dose That Mean That Nobody Reads It, Or Everybody Reads It"