147042

Joke of the Day

"Someone just told me ""if you don't believe in Santa Claus, he'll never visit!"" So on that note, I no longer believe in cancer."

"A pothead, a rapist and a dog killer walk into a bar. The Steelers must be in town."

"I look suspicious doing anything. You could walk in on me heating up a hot pocket and my face could look like I just murdered my family."

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower and dirty feckin liars!"

"Blind dates are the best They don't even see me coming"

"Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium!"

"What do women and dog poop have in common? The older they are the easier they are to pick up."

"two deer walk out of a gay bar the first deer says to the other, ""man, I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there""."

"So two peanuts crossed the road.. ...and one of them got assaulted."

"What's the most American food? Popcorn, because you have to blow it up before you eat it."