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Joke of the Day
"I just tried to make reservations at the library. Couldn't get one though. They were fully booked."
Next Joke
"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""
"Why was the Human Torch arrested? He had firearms."
"Came with our Christmas cracker Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar? A: He got 25 days."
"A nun is put to death by a firing squad.... She lived and died holey."
"Susan broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine."
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): An adolescent reindeer is first mocked, and then taken advantage of because of a birth deformity."
"I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn't in a band anymore and starts yawning by 9pm and just wants to be home drinking tea."
"How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."
"My parents were like siblings. And according to the police that was, like, a problem."