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Joke of the Day

"Came with our Christmas cracker Q: Did you hear about the man who stole the advent calendar? A: He got 25 days."

"Why are midgets so skinny? Because they eat h*elf*ally"

"When I start to panic about the Trump presidency I remember that we are on a rock floating around a fireball and I panic about that instead."

"""How do fast food restaurants make so much money?"" [OC] ""They flip burgers for profit!"" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!"

"What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection? ....... a quarter pounder with cheese."

"Dammit I forgot my headphones and I'm at the airport wait here's some for 16 million dollars thank god."

"My wife told me ""Sex is better on Holiday"".[OC] And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how she told me that she was a lesbian."

"As a child, I wanted to be a psychologist. But my parents told me, ""We're a-Freud you're too Jung for that."""

"I want a girl to go down on me As much as the Pokemon Go servers do"

"When is the worst time to get Cancer? North of the equator."