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Joke of the Day

"Haha, murder? No officer, I just wanted to see what would happen if I planted a human"

"What do you a call tree sex? A treesome..."

"[during dinner on a date] ""I'm currently in university"" how long is your degree? ""normally a year, but I have dial up, so probably 2"""

"Piss off the DJ by dancing the Macarena to all his music."

"I want my tombstone to just say ""You should see the other guy"" on it"

"They cut the hole in my Fallout disk to small. I can't fit my dick in it."

"A black man and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? The cop"

"My dog is a typical guy, I talk to him and he's all wagging his tail, but I know he's not listening. I get it ladies."

"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"

"There's too much nudity on TV these days... ... all I can do is sit here and shake my fist at it."