11759

Joke of the Day

"Nesta Carter was asked how he felt after winning a gold medal alongside Usain Bolt. ""That was dope!"""

"Naming my daughter ""A Relationship"" so I don't have to worry about punks wanting to be in her."

"College doesn't prepare you for holding in farts in the workplace."

"What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer? A hole in Juan"

"luke: yoda, i wish for........ your freedom yoda: i'm not a genie. i'm a person like you. i just look really weird"

"A man walks into the bar... The bartender: ""Hi Dave!"" The boss faints."

"Brushed the fur off my couch and made another cat."

"If Hillary wins the election... Will she hire immigrants to install the glass ceiling in the White House?"

"What's the difference between a Hummer and a cactus? A cactus has all the pricks on the outside."

"TIL Elon Musk has an evil twin that commits crimes every evening. His name is Felon Dusk."