41536

Joke of the Day

"If Hillary wins the election... Will she hire immigrants to install the glass ceiling in the White House?"

"Did you hear about the short-sighted circumsiser? He got the sack."

"A man was found dead in an ice cream van covered in nuts and sprinkles Police say he topped himself"

"When should I send a picture of my cat to my boyfriend? I checked online and they keep saying I should make him wait to see my pussy, but I don't see what the big deal is."

"I have the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the local zoo"

"If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive... I'd use it to buy some rental properties and try to invest some in the market."

"If you punch a hippie, and a cop arrests you... Would you get arrested for disturbing the peace?"

"Ugh my boyfriend's all ""Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos"" and ""Stop snap-chatting my Mom"" and ""Stop calling me your boyfriend"""

"Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise."

"~tips fedora at mosquito~ Mlaria"