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Joke of the Day

"What did Hillary Clinton do when her email was hacked? She asked Donald Trump to build a firewall."

"Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever."

"What does a sick bird need? Tweetment."

"What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow ? Slush puppies !"

"A new ISIS cell has been discovered in Italy They will be called Italian ices"

"Being a ""Hopeless Romantic"" sounds kinda depressing. ""Pull my chair out for me?"" .. ""I'd love to, but I've given up."""

"So, I was talking to my friend who runs a scrap yard. I asked how business was... ... He replied: ""pretty good, I've seen a bit of a pickup recently."""

"If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks."

"The lead drummer of my marching band is such an asshole. So I pounded him. Let me just say that the re-percussions I faced weren't very nice."

"What is Russia's codename for Trump? Agent Orange."