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Joke of the Day

"I just did my own taxes for the first time and I'm glad I did because I'm getting 8 million dollars back this year!"

"The detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case."

"I wanted to major in reverse psychology. My dream school turned me down. So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma."

"Probably the most notable thing about being an adult is not knowing whether you're tired or sad."

"So a sandwich... So a sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"Who proofread Hitler's speeches? A grammar nazi"

"*rubs lamp* *genie comes out* You get 3 wishes. Just no wishing for more wishes. ""I wish for more genies."" I SAID NO WI- oooh, you're good."

"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the rest of the buildings"

"What do you call a football team full of retards? Special teams."