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Joke of the Day
"Who proofread Hitler's speeches? A grammar nazi"
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"Two fish were in a tank... and one says ""How do you drive this thing?"""
"what's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Jesus? Jesus died a virgin."
"Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all of the coffin."
"How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?"
"The average person has sex 89 times a year My December is going to be fucking sick"
"When I was a kid my English teacher looked my way and said, ""name two pronouns."" I said, "" who, me?"""
"If anyone sees Phillip... ...tell him I have his screwdriver."
"[1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know"
"What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time? Not Yeti"