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Joke of the Day

"I went to the 50 Shades of Grey midnight premier earlier tonight Just sucks I couldn't hear the movie over all those goddamn bees in the theater"

"What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas? Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)"

"I was just knocked off my bike by a stationary truck. The driver gave me a couple of sketch pads and some really cool pens to apologise."

"I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues We make a small prophet."

"I've just used glitter spray paint in a confined space, and now I'm on another planet busting disco moves with an intoxicated pixie."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!"

"WHY DID YOUR MUM ASK FOR FOOD? Edward Macaroni fork"

"Asked my grandfather if he had anything equivalent to Victoria's Secret when he was young He said ""No, we had morals."""

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"""USA is #1! USA is #1!"" me explaining international dialing codes"