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Joke of the Day

"I've just used glitter spray paint in a confined space, and now I'm on another planet busting disco moves with an intoxicated pixie."

"How can you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber Ask them to pronounce 'Unionized'"

"The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you."

"my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote"

"Him: Are you mad? Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: No, I'm fine, why?"

"I told my friend to stop telling jokes about the Abominable Snowman Yeti still does"

"Did you dream of me, baby? -Are you a swimming pool full of Lucky Charms & milk? No, silly. -Then no."

"What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket? How far do you think i can kick this bucket? Also, Why did the chicken cross the road? [He was in the bucket](/spoiler)"

"Great Britain has left the EU Now they have a GB of free space"

"Me: (squeezing into a gown) I'm so sick of the fashion industry. Who do you even make these clothes for? Children? Disney Store clerk: Yes."