111561

Joke of the Day

"My friend who drowned just had his funeral the other day... We put a lifejacket on his coffin. It's what he would have wanted..."

"My washing machine is racist.. It only likes whites with whites and colors w colors.."

"""Have fun"" is just a nicer phrase for ""have a horrible time without me."""

"What is Hitler's phone number? 999-999-999"

"There are three kinds of people in the world, Those who are good at math and those who aren't."

"A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the ""mid air"" beach picture :("

"It's been so long since I've gotten laid My sperm's starting to grow legs."

"Maybe the cure for cancer is leaving chocolate pudding cups in my fridge for more than 24 hours. We'll never know."

"The meanest man in the world Is the Warden who put a tack on the electric chair."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey. Aged five years and in a barrel."