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Joke of the Day

"I told facebook my concerns about lack of privacy; they said they already knew how I felt about it."

"A healthy male organism is the one, which wakes up in the morning before the man."

"I'm sexually attracted to biceps. Does that make me biceptual?"

"Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden? We're raising mashed potatoes."

"I wish I was your math homework Then I'd be hard and you'd do me on the desk."

"A man walks into a zoo only to find out the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"I feel bad for spiders. I tripon my two feet all the time. Can only imagine the hell a clumsy spider goes through."

"Last night I was questioned by a detective, and then afterwards we had sex EDIT: Seriously, gilded? I'm speechless"

"What's the difference between a group of crafty midgets and a jogging club comprised exclusively of women? The former is a band of cunning runts..."

"Someone hit me in the head with a bottle of Omega-3 tablets the other day. Everything is OK; it was just a super fish oil wound."