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Joke of the Day

"So, I heard a celebrity was stabbed the other day... It was Reece something... Reece... Witherspoon? No, with a knife!"

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.L Then it dawned on me."

"Went out for drinks with my tinder date... She ordered the angel shot with lime :("

"My friend tried to kill herself by taking 20 advil. I was very upset by this and I asked her ""Why take 20 advil when you can just take 2 aleve?"

"Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder. They're calling it columbrine"

"Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed space."

"Chuck Norris' penis has a Ph.D in sexual education. It also has a pretty mean golf swing."

"Besides OP's mom, Which character would you like to have seen more of on the Andy Griffith show?"

"Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school."

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... ... Then it hit me!"