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Joke of the Day

"I blame movies for giving me unrealistic expectations about how long I can look away from the road while driving."

"I googled your mom and got a virus. For all the ""your mom"" jokesters out there. Just made that one up."

"What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer."

"There's a guy in this Taco Bell bathroom stall so loud I'm not sure if it's performance art or a solstice goat sacrifice."

"Dear Santa, us big girls like toys too,,,,just put them in the second drawer of my nightstand!"

"How do they dance in Arabia? Sheik-to-sheik (cheek)."

"Did ya hear about the Mexican who kept washing his dog? They were spic and spaniel"

"If I'm ever on life support, I want to be unplugged. And then plugged back in to see if that helps"

"If I had a dollar for every time I ever thought of you, I'd probably start thinking about you."

"Nigel Farage gets his girlfriend pregnant.. Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says ""My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"""