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Joke of the Day

"If I'm ever on life support, I want to be unplugged. And then plugged back in to see if that helps"

"Karma is only a bitch, if you are."

"What's the worst part about pissing outside in the winter? Getting a 2 inch dick out of 3 inches of clothing. Stay warm out there!"

"Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four? Me: i have no idea what he's for"

"A 3 foot tall psychic escapes prison, then he gets a look at the newspaper ""Small medium at large"""

"A fish lost it's body part. Fin."

"""Don't Ask, Don't Tell"" is history, but can we at least keep the ""Don't Tell"" part around for people who love to talk about being vegan?"

"When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton."

"Web Designer: ""Making my shit responsive, is a pain in the ass"" friend who is a web designer dropped that ""gem""."

"Some acids walked into the enemy base... Threat Neutralized."