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Joke of the Day

"whats red and bangs on the window? A baby in the microwave"

"I don't see the fun in putting money on the railway track. The bill flew away, so I put a rock on top of it. Now I'm going to Guantanamo."

"""Sweating bullets"" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot."

"I like my TVs like I like my women Curvy."

"'Doctor, I have a drinking problem!' 'I'm always drunk whenever I'm traveling between countries!' Doctor - 'Sounds like you're a borderline alcoholic.'"

"A favorite at parties To a large group: ""What do you say to a man with a one inch penis?"" ""How's it going, [name of group member]?"""

"Who was the first carpenter? Eve, she made Adam's banana stand."

"A man is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy: ""Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared."" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."""

""" I saw Lisa today... Dats hilarious!"""

"I think next time I'll go ahead and press ""2"" for Spanish. Maybe I'll actually get someone who speaks English better than the person on the ""English"" line."