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Joke of the Day

"I don't see the fun in putting money on the railway track. The bill flew away, so I put a rock on top of it. Now I'm going to Guantanamo."

"Someone just suggested that I use Mapquest. I suggested that he use a rotary phone."

"A smoke detector is a sophisticated device designed to inform you that your smoke alarm is working. But seriously keep your batteries in it people. If you don't you'll die, maybe."

"What do you call going Doctor to Doctor... What do you call going Doctor to Doctor to figure out what your inflammatory bowel disease is called? A Game of Crohn's."

"I live 30 feet from my mother-in-law, Hell holds no surprises."

"I tell people I broke my neck playing sports but it was actually from flicking my ponytail to unleash ancient curses."

"Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news The newscaster announces ""Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"" Doc Brown: ""Grate, Scott!"""

"What's AlQaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets"

"It's cool we live in a time where we can just type ""lol"" or ""haha"" without actually having to laugh or have feelings."

"Has anybody seen my keys? theyre awesome."