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Joke of the Day

"Why did the mermaid wear sea shells? Cause she was too big for B- shells! (my 6 year old niece likes to tell this joke)"

"Hello, Doctor. I have a problem - people ignore me... - Next."

"Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events? He's been living under The Rock."

"The most important thing in life is to be yourself, unless you can be Batman...always go with Batman"

"What grows when you plant a pumpkin spice latte and water it with vodka? A sorority."

"""Of course I have a mandate!"" Donald Trumpler shrieked at reporters. ""Master Putin is picking me up tonight for dinner and dancing."""

"Did you here that Lorena Bobbitt got killed in a car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"When I fight Authority, Authority always makes me submit a lot of paperwork."

"Recreational drugs? No thanks, I went pro years ago."

"We're having lobsters for dinner . Update - we have pet lobsters now"