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Joke of the Day
"why do pedophiles make good employers? they don't mind if you're a little behind."
Next Joke
"Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says ""I've lost my electron."" The other says ""Are you sure?"" The first replies ""Yes, I'm positive."""
"There are other people smarter than me and better looking and more talented and richer but what I have that they don't is bitter jealousy."
"What do you call and Indian funeral? A pool party"
"The Barenaked Ladies have been pulled from the rubble alive, following the Nepal Earthquake. Its been One Week."
"Ironic... is having a coke machine reject your dollar bill for it being rolled up to many times."
"To test my ability to emphasthize I tried to force myself to empathize with Brock Turner But if I learned anything from him it's that some things should never be forced"
"Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot."
"Relationships are like fat people... Most don't work out!"
"Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago"