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Joke of the Day

"Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago"

"Lorena Bobbit and Jeffery Dahmer This is an old one... What did Jeff say to Lorena after she cut her husband's penis off? You gonna eat that?"

"A cat walked in to a cobblers.. ..SHOE!"

"What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands? ""I literally can't even."""

"What do you call a group of homosexuals on rollerblades? A pack of Rolaids."

"Cop: ""Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ""It's water"" Cop: ""Sir, this is wine"" Me: ""What? Jesus! He did it again!"""

"Why are Ethiopian's teeth so white? Because they never use them"

"Restaurants drastically overestimate how much I care about which wood they smoke my bacon over."

"Pickup lines in /r/jokes? Stahp."

"What's the easiest way to come out of the closet? 1. Open door 2. Walk out"