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Joke of the Day

"I was going to use the new machine in the gym But I found out it only sold protein bars"

"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("

"I'm so tired of people saying Hillary sucks... She doesn't. Just ask Bill and Monica."

"Need to build an ark? I Noah guy."

"Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching."

"Before I watch any new network comedy, I say to myself ""This better be filled with diversity."""

"I leave the window open at night hoping a drunk criminal will accidentally drop a bag of money inside while trying to break in."

"What do motor scooters and fat women have in common? They're fun to ride until your friends find out."

"Why doesn't Dubai screen 'The Flintstones'? Because Abu Dhabi doooo."

"What do you call an abortion in Prague? A cancelled Czech."