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Joke of the Day

"Cop: You were going 30 over the speed limit Me: Are you sure about that? *gives him a handful of Cheez-Its* Cop: Have a nice day, sir."

"Old joke I can dodge a Ford, but can't afford a Dodge..."

"hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper."

"To /r/news China just called, they want their censorship back."

"Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer? Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)"

"What animal did they have in concentration camps? Dachau"

"When two girls hate each other, they say ""we should DEFINITELY hang out"" and then take turns shouting ""definitely!"" until one of them dies."

"A yoga teacher was murdered... ...they're saying it was premeditated."

"Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella."

"Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs? Because his arms were blown off."