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Joke of the Day

"How do you know a redneck invented the toothbrush? If it where anyone else it woulda been called a teethbrush"

"TIL 90% of statistics are bullshit, including this one."

"What is the difference between a duck? Only one of them is syntactically incorrect."

"A man dedicated his life to tying bits of string together. Unfortunately, it was all for knot."

"What do you call an old John Cena? John Cenile"

"saw guy at the store hand his gf some ""cutie"" oranges and say ""youre the real cutie."" i went to the bedding aisle and screamed into a pillow"

"fifty shades of grey It's the REAL verson of fifty shades https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU0yHAtqe4k"

"Somebody just said ""good morning"" to me in the elevator. Stare at the buttons like everyone else, asshole."

"Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it."

"*me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa."