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Joke of the Day

"I don't think Jesus would be mad if he came back and saw what the world has become. He might be a bit cross, though."

"Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well. Don't drink and derive."

"If I was a gay dude, I'd be all like ""Not tonight, I had Taco Bell for lunch."""

"How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face."

"Gonna start a gym called ""Resolutions"". For the first two weeks of January it's a gym. The rest of the year it becomes a bar."

"(re-post) Why does beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left"" Because women have no rights."

"Going to youtube with your VPN set to Germany on :/"

"The person who owns Hovis is from my local area. Born and bred."

"If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them."

"What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five? You leave him hanging...."